Time: 12:40 PM, July 20, 2006
Place: Kazipet Railway Station

The rule states that the reservation ticket will be issued at max, until 4 hours prior to the Starting Time of the Train. If the seats are still available, one can get a seat resereved after boarding the train by paying the applicable fare to the TTE.

East Coast Express 8486: SL available 177, AC available 45 (July 20, 2006)

The gloomy train halts on Platform No. 1 and the TTE suddenly appears standing right in front of S7.
X has a general ticket with him( hopes to get it converted to a Reserved ticket(reserved seat in the train...mind it) )

X (with a pathetic look,actually pathetic) : Sir, ek seat ... ?

TTE (looks from top to bottom(or whatever ;)) and now has a cunning smile on his face) : haan milegi, 47 mei jaake baith jao.

X (thrilled, but then...) : 47..wo to SL hai , Upper bearth milegi?

TTE (stares with a deadly stare) : 47 kaha na...

X (after all we are a democratic nation, protest as long as...) : but mei to dekh ke aya tha ki 177 available hein, Upper berth hogi na...?

TTE ( after all , after all you also agree that you are asking a seat in HIS train) : SEAT chahiye ki NAHIN?

X (think yourself...) : nahin nahin, 47 is ok..thankyou @#%&@!^@!@#@!@# (mute....iske alawa kar bhi kya sakta hoon, mera bhi din aayega).....

TTE : jaake baitho...aa raha hu.

(finally... settled on berth 47, half already occupied by the occupant of 48..but whatever...X is pleased bcoz he got a seat...better than a 26 hour journey in general compartment with baggages.
and the Train starts ...
after 10 minutes...

TTE arrives and settles down on a LB near to berth 47 with his papers and Official receipt book.
TTE (volume is low) : idhar aao.

X : haan bolo...

TTE (volume is low..but more serious) : IDHAR aao.

X ( something is fishy ) : haan bolo....sunai de raha hai (lower volume)

TTE (deadly stare) : ...

X : aa raha hu... ( sits beside him) ... haan...

TTE : ticket dikhao...
X shows him the general ticket

TTE : aise hi baith jaoge to 420 rupay ka fine lagega, but mei tumko ticket bana ke de dunga ( cunning smile...was it a smile?)

X : thankyou.

TTE goes through the official rate sheet, don't know what was he going through when he already has his rates fixed ;)

finally..the silence is broken...

TTE : chalo 282 rupay do.

X thinks he is smart, has already made some calculations...
(And after all India is a democracy)

X : 282!!!!!!! 180 hoga. 400 rupay fare hota hai. 224 ki general ticket hota hai. to 182 hua na?

TTE (now..strictly) : NAHIN!!!! 282 hota hai

X : 282 kaise? .... bahut jyada hai

TTE ( pretends to pack his papers ) : Jao yeh tumhari jagah nahin hai. yahan paisa dena padta hai (and what not) .JAO genral mei baitho. UTHO YAHAN SE!!!!

X ( quickly realizes..that yes, India is a democracy) : achha, achha theek hai theek hai ticket banao.

TTE (gives him a typical sarkari babu types look bcoz he was victorious) : @##@@#(this is called mann hi mann)
Scribbles Rs. 182 on the receipt book, writes S7 -47!(bas this is the point... )
hands over the ticket(receipt)...

X(hands over 2 hundred Rupees bills) : here, ye rahe..

TTE ( his happy face turns into blast furnace) : YEH KYA HAI???

X : 200 rupay!

TTE : nai 282 DO

X: nai..100 extra bahut jyada hai... (the receipt is in his hands ...so is it his turn now ?)

TTE is extremely furious...
TTE (mann hi mann) : @$#%^$%@#!!@#Y^@!#!%@#!@ !@&%#@&^#$!@^&!#@$%@~!%#@!~%~^%~@!&~*@%~%

TTE (is shouting now) : paisa nai dena tha to pehle KYU NAI BOLA

X already has his hand in pocket ready to give the third 100 Rupees bill.

TTE : YE LO...JAO.... (deadly stare again....but...)


THE END

Lesson for the TTE : Take the bribe first and then make the receipt :P